Dangerous Love Page 13

  Josh stepped back, his eyes going wide. “God, Alessa, I’m so sorry. I didn’t . . .” He dragged a hand through his hair.

  How could he have been so stupid? She’d been beaten and abused and what did he do? Forced a kiss on her.

  “No,” she reached for him, the fear still present on her face, “please, I didn’t mean to react like that. I know you’re not going to hurt me, but it was reflexive. Josh, please.” Her voice was sad, pleading. “I’m not afraid of you,” she whispered, dropping her gaze to the floor.

  He studied her long and hard. She didn’t want this thing between them to end any more than he did. He tentatively took a step toward her. “I should’ve known better. I’m sorry, Alessa. I promise that will never happen again.” The thought that he’d scared her twisted his gut. He fought to catch his breath, his chest heaving, as he looked into her eyes. But it was clear: Her emotions mirrored his own, and it nearly brought him to his knees.

  “Josh,” she whispered when he rubbed his thumb over her kiss-swollen lips.

  “Still believe you’re a charity case to me?”

  She laughed, the sound so light and easy. It was music to his ears. “No.” Alessa rested her forehead on his chest, her hands on his hips. “But don’t think you can just kiss me like that every time we have an argument and expect me to forgive you.”

  Josh stroked her hair, his breath and heart rate returning to normal. “You have no idea how much you mean to me, Alessa.” He took her face into his hands and made her look at him. “I know I can never explain it to you, but everything I’ve done, I did with my eyes wide open. I knew what I was risking. I didn’t care. I still don’t care.”

  And he really didn’t. He couldn’t care less about being on leave from the hospital or what the staff thought of him. All he cared about right now was Alessa, about keeping her safe and keeping her in his life for as long as possible. He knew he couldn’t make her stay if she didn’t want to, but he prayed that she would want to, that she would want to have a future with him, a life.

  She nodded. “I’m afraid you’ll wake up one day and regret what you’ve done, that you’ll resent me for it.”

  He caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. “Never.” He smiled. “But I meant what I said. I don’t want to hear you talk about yourself like that again, Alessa. You’re a smart, beautiful woman, and no matter what, you did not deserve what happened to you.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “Because anyone who lays their hands on a woman in anger is a coward. Plain and simple. And I promise you that whoever did this will pay for it.”

  “I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “You’ll never have to find out, baby.” He pressed his lips to her forehead and lingered there much longer than necessary. “Now, what do you say we go hunt down that safety deposit box and try to figure out who you really are?” He pulled back and winked.

  Alessa laughed. “I think that sounds like a great idea.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Alessa’s lips still tingled from Josh’s kiss, and it had been over an hour since it all happened. But wow. As far as kisses went, it was the best one of her life. She chuckled. Yeah, that’s saying a lot considering the only basis for comparison was Josh. But she knew if she could remember all her others, Josh would still be the best.

  “What’s so funny?” Josh asked, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips.

  “Nothing.” She glanced at him. They were just pulling up in front of the Staten Island branch of Bank of America. Her stomach clenched, and she felt like she might throw up. Going to the post office yesterday was bad enough, but to be here now? It was scary. She was clearly in some sort of trouble, something that required her to leave clues and safety deposit boxes. Did she really want to know? Were her memories that important? What was so wrong with just forgetting, with starting over right now with Josh?

  “Hey, you okay?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded. “Just worried about what I might find.”

  “Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. Together.”

  “I know. Thank you.” She smiled.

  Josh met her at her side of the car and together they walked into the bank. He reached down and took her hand, lacing their fingers. The way he gently squeezed her hand comforted her, let her know she wasn’t alone. Josh was her rock, and she thanked God every single day that he was in her life.

  “Next,” the teller said without so much as looking up at the line.

  Alessa took a deep breath and stepped up to the counter. “Hi.” She smiled. “I’d like to get into my safety deposit box, please.”

  “Account number?” The teller’s gaze was fixed on her computer, her fingers poised on the keyboard.

  Panic whipped through Alessa. Crap! How could she have been so stupid. “Uh,” she cleared her throat, “here’s the thing. I don’t know it.”

  Finally, the teller looked up. Her face was round and pudgy, and she studied Alessa intently. Does she know me, too? Alessa wondered.

  “I have my key, and my license,” Alessa said, feeling self-conscious about the way the teller was staring at her.

  “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to grant access without an account number. Do you have a partial?”

  “No.” Alessa shook her head.

  “Do you even know what number the box is?”

  “Thirty-two.”

  The teller averted her gaze back to the computer and tapped some keys. Her face scrunched up, and then softened. “Can you verify your social security number for me?”

  In that moment, all of Alessa’s hopes died. She didn’t know her social security number. But she did know that without it, she’d never get to see what was in her safety deposit box, she’d never get the answers she craved. Tears burned her eyes.

  “Excuse me, Miss . . .” Josh stepped up and leaned over the counter, reading the teller’s name tag, “Lenovo?” He smiled, showcasing his dimples. Alessa couldn’t be positive, but she was pretty sure she saw the teller swoon a little.

  “I’m Dr. Joshua Parker. Metro General Hospital.” He pulled out his hospital ID and showed it to Miss Lenovo. “Miss Matthews here is under my care. She had some severe head trauma and as a result is suffering from some memory loss, and so she doesn’t know the information you’re asking her. But I assure you, she is who she claims to be.”

  Miss Lenovo smiled and leaned a little closer to Josh. Alessa wanted to reach over and gouge the woman’s eyes out for looking at Josh like that. Alessa scowled. He’s mine, she thought.

  “I’m terribly sorry to hear of her condition, but—”

  “Please, Miss Lenovo. Can’t you help us out just this once? It’s been very difficult for Miss Matthews, not knowing anything about herself. She’s convinced the safety deposit box will hold clues to who she is,” Josh said, still smiling.

  Is he flirting with another woman right in front of me? Jealousy burned through Alessa’s veins. She hated feeling this way. Her emotions toward Josh were too deep, too intense, and she was quickly realizing she had no control over them, which was kind of terrifying.

  Miss Lenovo sighed and looked around. “Okay, Miss Matthews. Give me your license and your key. If it matches what I have on file, I can let you have access.”

  Josh winked at the teller. “Thank you.”

  Alessa stared at him with a dirty, disapproving look as she handed over her license and key. When the teller left, Alessa turned to Josh. “What was all that?”

  “What?” He shrugged.

  “You know what,” she said, laughter in her voice. “You were totally flirting with her.”

  Josh smiled, and Alessa’s knees weakened. His effect on her, on any woman, was unbelievable. A simple smile, that’s all it took for Alessa to want to throw away everything she knew was right and pure and do what she guessed would be lots of fun—and extremely sinful.

  Leaning closer, Josh put his mouth near her ear. “You’re adorable when you’re j
ealous.” His warm breath tickled her.

  She closed her eyes and sighed. He smelled so good. “You’re going to pay for this,” she teased.

  “I look forward to it.” Josh straightened and winked.

  “All right, Miss Matthews. Everything appears to be in order.” Miss Lenovo returned and handed Alessa her key and license. “Please follow me.”

  Josh put his hand on the small of Alessa’s back, and they followed Miss Lenovo into a back room. It was bare, with just a long, wooden table positioned in the center. On top of it was a metal box. The number thirty-two was etched on top of it.

  “When you’re finished, just lock up the box and leave it on the table.” Miss Lenovo exited the room and closed the door.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Josh asked.

  Alessa nodded. “Yes. I need to know.”

  “Okay.”

  Taking a deep breath, Alessa unlocked the box, her hands shaking so bad she had to try a couple of times before she actually got it open. She had no idea what to expect to find, but for some reason she wasn’t expecting to find a stack of papers. It was rather disappointing.

  “Alessa?”

  His voice brought her back to reality, anchored her. “I think I want to bring this back to your house and go through it there.”

  Josh stepped up behind her. She waited, wanted him to put his arms around her, but he didn’t. “If you want to take this home, then we’ll take it home.”

  She smiled. That was the second time in a matter of days he referred to his house as home—her home. It warmed her heart.

  * * * *

  Alessa closed her eyes and moaned with content. “So good,” she said, dipping another French fry into her chocolate sundae and popping it into her mouth. Apparently she had a serious love affair with fries and ice cream.

  “I really don’t know how you can eat that stuff.” Josh laughed.

  They’d grabbed some drive-thru food on their way home from the bank and were now sitting at the kitchen table eating. The contents of the safety deposit box were stacked in a neat pile next to Alessa. She hadn’t done more than glance at them since getting them. Thankfully Josh hadn’t pushed the issue even though she knew his curiosity was eating him alive.

  “It’s good. You should really try it.” She held out an ice cream coated fry.

  “No way.” He shook his head adamantly.

  “C’mon. Just one. You do owe me, you know.”

  He raised a brow. “Owe you? What for?”

  “For flirting with that bank teller in front of me.”

  Josh flung his head back and laughed. Alessa didn’t find the humor in it. Didn’t Josh realize how much that bothered her? Of course, there was no reason it should. It’s not like she and Josh were in a committed relationship or anything. In fact, she had no idea what they were.

  “Okay,” he inhaled deeply, “first of all, I wasn’t flirting with her because I liked her. I was doing it for you.”

  Alessa rolled her eyes.

  “Secondly, it was payback for your comments about Ethan.”

  She glared at him, unsure if he was serious or not. And he gave her no indication one way or another. Crap. She’d only been teasing him about Ethan the other night. Surely Josh must know that. But . . . maybe he didn’t.

  “So, if I eat that gross contraption of yours, what are you going to do for me?” he asked, leaning back and draping his arm over the back of his chair.

  “What do you want?” she asked without hesitation, and then felt her face heat. That didn’t come out quite as she expected.

  “I want you to let me take you out on a real date.”

  “What?” She was stunned. A real date? She didn’t know how, but she had that feeling again, the one where she just knew she knew something—it had been a really long time since she’d been on a date. The idea excited her, especially knowing the date would be with Josh.

  “A date,” he repeated. “You and me. Dinner. Dancing.”

  “Yes,” she blurted.

  A smile spread over Josh’s face. “Okay then.” He straightened. “Bring it on.” He opened his mouth.

  Alessa scooped some ice cream onto a fry and placed it in Josh’s mouth. He took the food, then playfully nipped at her finger. She jerked back, her eyes wide, wishing fun Josh would show up more often.

  Chewing, he scrunched up his face in disgust. She laughed. He clearly didn’t like her guilty pleasure. He swallowed, and then pretended to gag.

  “Oh stop it.” She laughed. “It’s not that bad.”

  He winked. “I think it’s adorable that you think so.”

  She propped her elbow on the table and dropped her chin into hand. What was she going to do with him? Love him. Cherish him. Spend the rest of her life making him smile. She cleared her throat.

  “We should probably go through these papers now,” she said, moving them to the center of the table. She flipped through the entire stack, picking up each sheet, studying it, and then setting it down for the next one.

  Josh remained seated and silent, but she could feel his gaze on her, watching. It was a small comfort to have him there, knowing she could turn to him at any moment for any reason. She wished he’d touch her though. Hold her hand. Rub her back. Something. Anything. But he kept his distance. He had been all day, she realized.

  “I don’t think these are mine,” she said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m not sure. These are ledgers, financials, account information, printed emails . . . but none of them have my name anywhere on them.”

  “Let me see.” Josh took the papers and looked through them.

  “And these emails have Raymond Scotts’ name on them.”

  Raymond Scotts. She knew that name. Where? The computer. No. It was more than that. She didn’t just know his name, she felt as though she knew him. A sharp pain shot through her temple and throbbed behind her eyes.

  She clutched her head into her hands.

  “Alessa, what’s wrong?” Josh was standing now, his hand on her back.

  “Nothing, I’m okay.” This headache wasn’t nearly as bad as the last one, but it still hurt like crazy. Would they ever go away? If this is what she had to endure to get her memory back, she would live without it.

  “You’re having another headache.”

  It wasn’t a question, but she felt the need to answer anyway. “Yes, but I’ll be okay.” She turned to smile at Josh. His brow was furrowed and concern clouded his eyes. He worried too much. Alessa stood and a wave of dizziness washed over her. She grabbed the table for support.

  “Okay, that’s it,” Josh put his arm around her waist, “that’s enough for today. You need to rest. Come on.”

  He led her down the hall to her room, and she didn’t argue. This house, this room, it was home. She liked it here, and she hoped Josh wouldn’t make her leave once her memories returned. Alessa turned down the blankets and climbed into bed. She didn’t realize how tired she was until she settled back on her pillow and yawned.

  Josh sat on the edge of her bed. This was the first time he’d ever been in her room, on her bed. Her heart raced and suddenly, she didn’t feel so tired anymore. He brushed a lock of hair from her forehead, and then let his fingers trail down the side of her face and across her lips. She puckered up and lightly kissed his index finger.

  He looked like he was going to lean down and kiss her, but he didn’t. “Get some rest, Alessa.” He stood and tucked the blankets around her.

  When she heard the door close, she turned her head into her pillow and let her tears fall. Something had changed between them. She could feel it, and she didn’t like it. She wanted the Josh from last night. The laughing, smiling, playful Josh who’d tickled her. The intense, passionate Josh who’d kissed her so hard this morning she saw stars. Where was he? And why wasn’t he lying here next to her, holding her, comforting her? That’s what she wanted.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Raymond’s fingers
ached from clenching them so tight. “People don’t just disappear, Frankie,” he said in a tight, controlled voice. “Unless I want them to. And I don’t want her to!” he shouted. Well, he had, but his goons had gone and messed that up. So now he had to find her just so he could get rid of her. Again. Talk about a mess.

  “I know, boss. But we checked out that shelter. It’s just not there anymore. Hasn’t been for a few years now. I think the good doctor lied to us.”

  “Oh, you think?” Raymond threw his glass across the room, not flinching when it hit the opposite wall and shattered. “Who the hell is this doctor? Why is he hiding Alessa?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well it’s your job to know.” Raymond shoved his hands into his pockets and paced. He was surrounded by idiots. Time was running out. He had to find Alessa. Fast. He had no idea who she’d talked to about him, what she’d told them, what kind of evidence she claimed to have or where it was. That woman would not be his downfall. She wouldn’t.

  “I’ll make another visit to the hospital,” Frankie said with a nod, “and I’ll get more information about the doctor.”

  “No.” Raymond stopped pacing. “I’ll do it.” He was tired of the games, of trusting others to do what he should’ve done himself in the first place. “I need to reschedule some appointments. I’m supposed to be in Jersey tomorrow. Thanks to your incompetence, I need to juggle a half a dozen things. If anything else goes wrong, it’ll be your head alongside hers.”

  By this time next week, Alessa would no longer be a problem. He’d have to come up with a reason for visiting the hospital and for asking about a specific patient. That shouldn’t be an issue though. He was a great liar. He was a politician after all.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Amanda tucked the pen behind her ear and put her clipboard down, surveying the contents lined up on the long, rectangular tables. They had received several lovely donations from community shops and organizations that would be wonderful treats for the single mothers who would receive them. If she could get them put together on her own. She checked her watch, frustrated to see that Kelsey, an assistant who volunteered as part of her community service probation, was running over forty minutes late now.