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Eternal Bond : (The Cursed Series, Book 3) Page 27
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What had Isach said… with time, yes, I could love her? With time, maybe I could love Jax, too.
I pulled away and wiped my face. “Thanks.”
He gave a curt nod, then shoved his hands into his pockets.
“I should go. Abby’s probably wondering where I am,” I said.
“Yeah, she already is. When you weren’t at your locker or waiting at the car, she texted Whitney in a panic. We split up to look for you,” he said.
Without replying, I pulled out my phone and texted Abby to let her know I was okay and that I’d meet her at the car.
Abby: OMG. ARE YOU OKAY? WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE ARE YOU?
I sighed, and my shoulders sank with the weight of what I knew was to come. Her barrage of questions. The lies I’d have to tell her. Talking about Isach.
“C’mon. I’ll walk with you.” Jax nodded for me to follow.
Silently, I walked beside Jax toward the student parking lot, my mind whirling and buzzing with what I should do next. And I really had no idea.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN:
An Unexpected Offer
AFTER DINNER THAT NIGHT, I CHANGED into my pajamas and climbed into bed. I had homework to do, but I didn’t have the energy to work on it, which meant I’d probably get in trouble tomorrow, but I didn’t care. Getting detention was the least of my worries.
Rolling onto my side, I tucked my hands under the side of my face and stared at my mother’s urn. I’d give anything to be able to talk to her right now, to ask her for advice. Though, I was pretty sure I knew what she’d tell me.
If you love Trent, fight for him, show him how much he means to you.
With a sigh, I flopped over onto my back and gazed up at the ceiling. The only way to get Trent back was to break the bond I shared with Jax, and all I’d been doing was trying to find a way to do that. How else was I supposed to show him how much he meant to me, how much I loved him?
Even if Isach would let me break the curse, Trent couldn’t change me. If he could, I was positive he wouldn’t, not when he didn’t even want to be with me anymore. And I doubted he’d be okay with Jax changing me.
Sharp pain shot through my chest, and I hugged the blankets to my chin. I couldn’t stand the constant heartache, the endless hours of missing him so much it was a physical ache.
I lay in bed for hours, my thoughts jumping from Trent to Jax and back again, a constant loop of sorrow and longing. Trent had said he couldn’t trust me, but that wasn’t true. Not really. It was the bond he couldn’t trust. Maybe if I showed him, every day, that I wouldn’t give in to the bond, he’d realize I only wanted him.
Could I do that, though?
Macaih had said the harder I tried to resist, the worse it would be. I didn’t want to go mad like Hannah, and completely cutting Jax out of my life was impossible. A sharp cramp stabbed my stomach, and I put my hand on my belly, as if that would somehow help.
The thought of never seeing Jax again made me physically sick, but so did the thought of never being with Trent again. I snatched my cell phone, surprised to see it was a few minutes after midnight. He was probably asleep, but who cared? I sent a message to Trent.
Me: I MISS YOU.
Then I held my breath, waiting. Three little dots popped up to indicate he was typing. They quickly disappeared. Then reappeared only to disappear again. I exhaled loudly. Finally, I got a response.
Trent: IT’S LATE. YOU SHOULD BE SLEEPING.
I frowned. That was his response?
With shaking hands, I typed a reply.
Me: I CAN’T SLEEP. NOT WITHOUT YOU.
My heart lodged firmly in my throat as I hit send. Of course, that wasn’t exactly true. Jax had proven that any warm body would suffice.
Trent: I’M SORRY. He’d included the frowning emoji.
He still hadn’t acknowledged what I’d sent the first time, nor had he said it back. Probably because he didn’t miss me. I dropped my phone to my chest and pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes so I wouldn’t cry. It didn’t help. Tears slipped past my defenses and tracked down the side of my face.
My phone buzzed and vibrated, and I grabbed it, hoping I had another message from Trent. I didn’t. I did have a text from Jax, though. My hands trembled as I opened it.
Jax: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CALL.
I squeezed my eyes shut. I hadn’t forgotten; I was avoiding.
Me: SORRY.
Chewing on my bottom lip, I debated what else to say. He wanted to talk, and I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer. Tomorrow was Friday. Abby was going out with Wyatt, though Aunt Beth thought she was going to Whitney’s house—with me. Which meant I needed to cover for her. That would be the perfect time to talk to Jax.
Me: WE CAN TALK TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL, OKAY?
Jax: WHERE?
Me: YOU TELL ME.
As soon as I sent that, I regretted it. Giving Jax any amount of control over this situation was a terrible idea, but it was too late now. All I could do was wait for him to answer.
Jax: MEET ME NEAR THE FLAGPOLE.
Okay, that wasn’t so bad. I let him know I would, then closed our messages and checked for any new texts from Trent. There were none. How could he so easily forget about me? It was like he had no trouble ignoring me and acting like nothing had ever happened between us.
Turning off my phone, I set it on my nightstand, pulled the blankets over my head, and pretended my life wasn’t a flaming dumpster fire.
“IS ABBY GOING TO the Fall Ball?” Isach asked.
I gasped with surprise at the sound of Isach’s voice and spun around to face him. “Yes. She’s going with Wyatt. Why?”
Isach leaned against Trent’s locker—which Trent hadn’t visited since the morning he broke up with me—and frowned. “I was going to ask her.”
“Yeah, well, you’re too late.” I resumed searching for my Life Skills packet.
“Do you want to go with me?” he asked.
I straightened, eyes wide, and stared at him. “Did you seriously just ask me to go to the dance with you?” Either I was dreaming, or he’d lost his mind. It could very well be both.
He shrugged. “Why not? Imagine how jealous Trent will be.” An evil twinkle sparkled in Isach’s eyes.
“I don’t want to make Trent jealous,” I said.
Why did everything think that was my goal? I slammed my locker closed, abandoning the search for my homework.
“I want him to trust me, and showing up at the dance with you will defeat that purpose,” I said.
“Maybe,” he said coolly. “Or maybe it will show him you’re not going to wait around for him.”
I crossed my arms. “And what do you get out of this? You don’t even like me.”
“I like you just fine.” He pushed away from the locker. “And I have to assume you’re going to the dance with Abby, so if I’m your date…”
“You’ll get to go with all of us.” I sighed.
He grinned. “Exactly. So, yes or no?”
His offer was unexpected, but it would save me from having to be the only one in my friend group without a date. Gina was going with Luke. Whitney had snagged some poor human boy from the junior class to go with her. Tonya was no longer going—something about her parents making her go out of town that weekend. Which meant I was the odd one out.
“Fine, but we’re going as friends. Nothing else,” I said.
“Of course.” A look of satisfaction brightened his face. “It’ll be fun. Promise.” He sauntered off.
Yeah, I highly doubted it would be fun. The hallways were nearly empty by the time I made my way outside to meet Jax. He was leaning against the flagpole, looking both bored and anxious. When he saw me, he stood to his full height.
“I thought for sure you were going to stand me up,” he said.
“Sorry, I got caught up talking to Isach.” I still couldn’t believe he’d asked me to the dance, or that I’d said yes. Then again, wasn’t it smart to keep your enemies close?
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“About?” Jax raised a brow.
“He asked me to go to the Fall Ball with him.” I hitched my backpack higher on my shoulder and glanced anywhere but at Jax.
He laughed. “You’re kidding?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Actually, I said yes.”
Finally meeting his gaze, I pulled my shoulders back and jutted my chin. He wasn’t going to make me feel bad for agreeing to go with Isach. It’s not like Jax had asked me. My entire body froze. What if he had asked me? Would I have said yes?
Jax whistled low. “Trent is going to be furious.”
“It’s none of his business,” I snapped. “The second he dumped me, he lost all rights to know what I do or who I do it with.”
“Yeah, but… Isach?”
“It’s not like anyone else asked me.”
“I was going to ask you today,” he said, a twinge of hurt and regret in his tone. “Not that I thought for one second you’d say yes, but…” He shrugged and pulled car keys from his pocket. “C’mon, let’s get out of here so we can talk.” He started toward the road, and I jogged to catch up.
Stopping near a sleek black luxury sedan, Jax opened the passenger door for me. I tossed my bag into the back seat, then climbed in. He was seated behind the steering wheel and pulling away from the curb before I finished hooking my seat belt.
“For what it’s worth, I might have said yes,” I said.
Jax was silent as he sped through town and pulled into the Keene Valley Lodge parking lot.
Instant anger rose up in me, and I jerked my seat belt off. “Are you serious? You brought me to a motel?”
“Relax,” he said. “This is where I’m staying temporarily.”
“What? Why?”
“Because Trent and I aren’t exactly getting along, and Sean threatened to stake both of us if we broke anymore furniture.”
My jaw dropped, though I didn’t know why I was shocked. Those two were always fighting, and it was always my fault. The idea of returning to California to live with my dad was sounding better and better.
“If you want to go somewhere else, we can. I just figured this was private, and we wouldn’t be interrupted,” he said.
It was stupid to even consider going into a room with him—a room with a bed and no interruptions—but I agreed. We did need to talk, and this was the ultimate test to see if I could resist our bond. I got out of the car and followed Jax to his room, my nerves in a tizzy.
“I’m sorry you’re forced to say here,” I said, stepping into the room.
Jax closed the door with a soft click, and my heart jumped. “Don’t be. It’s better this way. Trust me.” He tossed his keys onto the dresser.
“So…” I sat in one of the chairs that wasn’t littered with Jax’s clothes and tucked my hands under my legs.
“How’re you doing?” He sat on the bed.
I shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”
“Chloe. You don’t have to lie, not to me.”
Lowering my head, I studied my fingernails. Jax had always been brutally honest with me—it was one of the reasons I loved him—and I’d always been able to tell him stuff, too. I lifted my head and looked at him. Really looked at him.
He was paler than normal, though not like he’d been at Ivy’s; he wasn’t starving. His eyes were as blue as ever, inquisitive and probing and easy to fall into. His muscles stretched his T-shirt to capacity, and I was hit with the memory of how it had felt to run my hands over those muscles. Of how he’d held himself over me, his weight in his arms, making them bulge even more.
“I’m not doing very good,” I finally admitted. “I miss Trent like crazy, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t feel the same way.” My breath hitched. “I’ve tried everything I can think of to break this eternal bond, but nothing has worked.”
“And that’s what you want?” he asked quietly. “To break the bond?”
Alone in my room at night, I was certain that’s what I wanted, but now, sitting in the same room with Jax, I wasn’t so sure. But was that because I truly didn’t know or because the bond wanted me to be with Jax? It was hard to tell anymore.
The pull was getting stronger, and it was harder every day to keep my distance from Jax. How much longer could I resist what was so clearly an inevitability? I was just so tired of fighting.
“Chloe?” Jax knelt in front of me.
“I don’t know what I want,” I whispered, finally admitting to myself for the first time that I might not have a future with Trent.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT:
Distraction
“WILL YOU TAKE ME TO ELLIE’S?” I asked, suddenly very uncomfortable with being in this room with Jax. I needed some air that wasn’t tainted with his scent.
He tilted his head, confusion playing across his face. “She and Nick are out with Abby and Wyatt,” he said slowly, as if he were afraid I might not understand. “I overheard Abby talking about it today.”
“Oh.” My shoulders dropped.
They were on a double date. How did I not know that? Was I really so preoccupied with my own life and problems that I was clueless about what my friends were doing? That was bad enough, but it was worse that I could no longer go on double dates with them.
I sighed. I couldn’t go home. Aunt Beth thought Abby and I were at Whitney’s.
“You could call them. Find out where they are. We can meet up with them,” Jax suggested.
I shook my head. “I’m not crashing their date,” I said, ignoring how he’d said “we.”
If I called them and then showed up with Jax, everyone would think it was a triple date, and I was not going on a date with Jax. Trent would freak if he found out. Or maybe not. I honestly had no idea how he’d react anymore.
“All right. Let’s get out of here then.” Jax stood and held his hand out to me. “C’mon. We’ll go get some food and find something to do.”
I stared at his outstretched hand. My body tingled with the need to touch him, but I forced myself to remain still, my hands safely tucked in my lap.
“Or we can stay here if you want.” He dropped his hand and sauntered toward the bed. “I’m sure we can find something to entertain ourselves.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Knock it off,” I said but couldn’t keep the laughter from my voice. “Let’s go get food.”
Eating always offered a nice distraction from whatever I didn’t want to think about, and considering I hadn’t been eating much lately, I was starving.
With a small smile, Jax nodded.
Ten minutes later, we stepped inside the Noon Mark Diner and found an empty table near the door. I hated sitting near the door like that, but the place was packed, which wasn’t unusual—it was the hangout spot for the high school kids.
Jax opened his menu and scanned it. “You realize the food here won’t be nearly as good as mine.”
I laughed. “I’m sure it won’t be. But you didn’t offer to cook so.” I shrugged and perused the menu.
Despite how hungry I was, nothing looked good to me, even though normally, I’d have trouble choosing just one thing because there was so much stuff I liked.
“You didn’t ask me to,” he said, peering at me over his menu.
“It’s not like you can cook a meal when you’re staying at the lodge.”
“No, but we could have gone to my house.”
“Right.” I huffed. “I’m pretty sure Trent doesn’t want me anywhere near him anymore, let alone in his house. Not to mention, he’d probably be upset if I showed up with you.” I closed the menu and set it down, settling on ordering French toast. That was always a safe bet.
“Trent’s not home.”
Unease twisted my stomach. “Where is he?”
As soon as I asked the question, I regretted it. Trent’s whereabouts were none of my business, especially if he happened to be out with another girl. That thought caused the breath to rush from my lungs in a painful whoosh.
“Don’t know. He said he had somethin
g to take care of and that he’d be back in a few days.” Jax set his menu down. He folded his arms on the table. “I figured he would have told you.”
“We’re not exactly on speaking terms at the moment.” I fiddled with the corner of the napkin that held my silverware.
“Sorry. I knew he’d ended things, but I didn’t realize…” He frowned. “My brother is the biggest idiot.” Jax shook his head. “I’d literally give anything to be with you, and he just tosses you away.”
“Thanks,” I snapped, my tone bitter.
Like I needed another reminder of how carelessly Trent had dumped me. I hadn’t even seen it coming, which made it that much worse. But as long as this mark was on my neck and I was bonded to Jax, there was no me and Trent.
The waitress arrived to take our order. When she left, Jax said, “What is with you and French toast. Is that all you ever eat?”
“What’s wrong with French toast?”
“Nothing’s wrong with my French toast.” He grinned wickedly.
“You’re terrible.” I laughed. “If you like cooking so much, and you clearly think your food is superior, why don’t you open your own restaurant?”
“That’s hard to do when you don’t ever stay in one place very long.” There was a twinge of sadness in his voice.
“Yeah, but you could be one of those people who travels from city to city building your restaurant. Like a national chain or something.”
He smiled. “You’re shifting from yellow to orange.”
“What does that mean?” The only color I was one hundred percent certain of was red, and well, that wasn’t something I was going to discuss with him.
“Happiness. Enthusiasm.” He tilted his head, studying me intently. “You really think I should start my own restaurant?”
“Why not?” I leaned back when the waitress set our drinks on the table. “My mom always told me to find something I love, something I couldn’t imagine living without, and then find a way to make money doing it. Legally, of course.” I laughed. “You obviously love cooking.”